a beginning. . .

So I’ve never known where to start and so I don’t start. But I start now. 

I’m constantly thinking, constantly pondering, constantly making connections between life, spirituality,  nature, culture, science and beyond. The fear of first impression has been strong, and has held me back from the exposure of sharing writing of any kind. But showing any small part of oneself authentically, is much better than hiding.  What I am discovering is that when I don’t share I am consumed by myself —I begin to implode.   I go deeper and deeper into the vortex of my own thoughts, and eventually hit a creative void because life is to be shared, thoughts are to be shared experiences to be shared. 

There is no beginning there is no end, so I will just start here, with this, what I have been thinking about today—connection—everything is connected by a thread.  It’s all woven together — there is a tapestry of the Universe. There is no beginning or end. There is no edge or Center. It is all present. It is all woven. It is all connected. It is all coherent.  The allegory of Indra’s Net — there is a net throughout the universe and at each crossing of each thread there is a crystal bead and each crystal bead reflects all the other crystal beads.   The only way to actively become part of the tapestry is to weave oneself in deeper — to start somewhere and to become more integrated.   

So I stand here and I share what I think today.  Tomorrow will be something other — it may seem random, it may feel disconnected, but there will always be that connecting thread.  As I humbly seek, as I ponder, as I integrate what I have heard or read that week, I hope to help others make their own connections.   One post may resonate, another may not. I’m not telling a linear story. I’m just exploring. I am an explorer of life, of thought, of experience, of the body, of spirituality/spirit.  The only way out is in, but once one goes in one has to expand out—the constant undulation. I imagine the way a jellyfish moves through the water—it pulls in and expands, it pulls in and expands.

To build something one is told to have consistency, regularity, something that can be relied upon.  I can’t guarantee a weekly post on Friday at noon (for example), but I can promise you that what I offer will come from the heart, will be authentic, and will come from me, and not a bot.  There is a consistency in nature, but there is also chaos — I cannot create on demand as something in the rigidity of that demand, stifles me, constricts me, shuts me down.  I love order, I love control, but to be creative requires space to expand and a sense of freedom — the discipline of moving into that space and focusing intention to creation, but allowing for what emerges.  This is my process and I will honor it with all I share in writing.  

My mind and heart clearly love connection and in the moments of silence or dreams random bits of science, neuroscience, yoga, life converge.  This is what lights me up and this is what I will share, as and when it comes.  No more hidden messy scribbles in my notebook to use at some point for something. . . . .I will write them out, follow the idea. . .  sometimes to a dead end, sometimes to a magical realization, sometimes to a conversation.  

This is me. .  . sometimes controlled, sometimes random, usually quirky, quite geeky, but deeply curious and authentically me. 

Xo Cadence